New Year’s resolutions often fail because we are almost hard-wired to resist change. In our nature as human beings is an assumption that familiarity = safety, and change = danger. Your psyche sees that whatever is familiar hasn’t killed you yet, whereas something you haven’t tried before might harm you if you change to it. This means we are under deep internal pressure to resist change.
However, this can be a problem when we identify a change we need to make. New Year’s Resolutions are an example of attempting to make a change, against our powerfull conditioning to stick with what is familiar.
we are under deep internal pressure to resist change
So, here are my three top tips to help you overcome your psyche’s innate resistance to change, and persevere with your new year’s resolutions:
1. Make and celebrate small incremental changes. These are enormously helpful in supporting successful longer term change. Your psyche is resistant to massive change, but by introducing small changes bit by bit, you can help it become comfortable with the change your bringing in.
2. Build these changes into your routine. Imposing stand alone changes that are totally alien to your usual routine is likely to fail, but incorporating the change you want to make into your way of life helps normalise the change for your psyche. Forgive slips and reward perseverence.
3. Pray. You don’t have to make the change alone. If the change is good, God is on board and wants to help you make it. Scripture says “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7) and “it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ” (2 Corinthians 1:21). Why try to make a change with your own limited resources when you are inherently change averse? With prayer, you can request the help of the one who made you and wants you to change for your good.
So, to sum up, in order to make a major change stick, try making small changes routine, be patient with slips and celebrate success, and get God on board by making godly change prayerfully.
Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness – Psalm 37:3
Ash Leighton Plom 